Girl meets boy, girl gets pregnant and girl becomes a Mum…
No one passes you a handbook and says “here you go, this will help you on your way with becoming a Mum and how to still be you at the same time”
Becoming a Parent was the start of my journey, as my hormones went nuts, my thyroid decided to loose the plot and I suddenly had a load more expectation and responsibility than I ever imagined in my life. I wanted to maintain the happy go lucky, working young woman life, whilst trying to make bottles, change nappies and get some sleep somewhere in there too. Not forgetting my responsibilities as a wife (well that certainly took a backward step)
I just started to find my feet with one little cherub in my life when I decided to embark on that next step and have my second. Everyone said to me how much easier life was with two…
Are they crazy?
I found the second one a joy for the first week, then life became even more of a balancing act. Hormones decided now was the time to completely spiral and I crashed and fell with depression! However, I am happy to report I was still able to get up and put my face on every day. That was my only shred of Portia I had left!
Popping pills into my mouth and crying whilst watching another episode of Peppa Pig (I actually love that programe) I realised I was not putting myself first anymore, BUT HOW COULD I?
How could I be a Mum and have it all?
I suddenly realised I had to let go of my expectations and perfectionism.
Putting on my face each Morning was a religious practice to me, so I thought this is where I needed to start. I need to get up even earlier (before the little dumplings) get on the yoga mat, or sweat out a quick weights session, or just sit and meditate. This was about taking some time for me, some time out. Obviously life is never easy and some Mornings I would be too tired or the kids would wake early, but I made it more than I didn’t.
Most importantly I didn’t beat myself up if I missed it! Anger and frustration are the biggest causes of stress and disease, so that was a promise I made to myself. This was going to be try and see what you can get exercise.
That was it, road to self again!
Apart from a quick workout, what other changes could I make in my life to have the life I truly desired? I wanted independence, success, a great body, daily laughter, family time and much more.
What could I do to get more of these things in my life?
I had to believe…
I had to believe in myself and the power of my thought. I also had to accept myself for who I am and where I am.
I sit down every Morning and picture the life I desire and I acknowledge what I already have, how lucky I am and all the value I bring to mine and other peoples lives.
I stopped comparing myself against others, feeling a victim of young mum that is lost and confused. I became grateful, strong, empowered and self aware Mum instead. I accepted myself for what I could bring every day and never held on to the days where it was harder or I didn’t achieve anything.
I was a Mum after all and every day was going to still bring new challenges. We had sick days, unexpected injuries, emotional breakdowns, tears and tantrums in the street (myself not the kids). But I vowed not to let that stop me, I was still going to try, I was still going to feel like today is the start of something amazing! I woke up, I got on the mat (or tried to) and filled my head with ides of what I can bring to the day, what were my strengths? What could I do to ensure I made time for myself and for my kids to feel valued and loved? I realised they didn’t need my constant attention, but they did need me to listen at crucial times and have eye contact, to show I have listened.
Being a Mum and having it all, is about balance, not putting high expectations on yourself. STOP COMPARING! Listening to your child’s needs, but talking to them about their expectations. Making them see you are there to support and guide, but not live for them. Most importantly reminding yourself at the end of the day, that every new sunrise brings a new day to take on all the things you didn’t get to do yesterday!
You want it! You’ve got to make the time for yourself to go get it!
I recorded a yoga class this week with this in mind, so if you fancy joining me for a Morning Yoga Flow to get you in the mood for a great day, click the link below:
Much love and gratitude for reading my post and sharing the love with me.