How Do I Hit The Rewind Button?

Have you ever had one of those moments you wish you could pause and rewind? A moment you completely regret and would do anything to take it back? 

I had one of those this week! 

It’s so easy to allow yourself to be completely consumed by a silly thing and over think something until it burns a whole inside of you and you just need to explode.

I could feel myself doing that this week. I have been finding it hard with the run up to Christmas and this situation we are in. I could feel the stress levels rising and my normal namaste levels dropping. A few little personal issues on top of that and my inner demon was desperate to make an appearance. 

As my ex husband has known me since I was very young, I believe this gave me the acceptable go ahead to make him my punch bag. A huge rant over stupid things and our new found friendship took a huge step back.  

Luckily a moment of clarity quickly followed and we both apologised and moved on with our day! 

But that experience left me with a deep sadness, that I wasn’t able to stop it before it happened. It’s very difficult to catch yourself on the path to war! Little by little things start to build up and before you know it, you’ve lost it! 

I’m sure many people will read this and think, isn’t she the yoga person, all spiritual and peaceful. Yes I am, but I still live in the real World. What I am able to do, is catch myself (normally) before I get to this point. However, on this occasion it helped by enabling me to stop the situation from escalating and ruining our relationship in the future.

I took a few big breaths away from the situation and thought to myself “this is not what I want for my relationship with my children’s Father and my friend. So what’s the best next step to get to my desired outcome? “ So I swallowed my ego and appologised, as I knew this was right.

Meditation and mindfulness has taught me to slow down and reflect on my experiences. To understand and realise that my mindset defines my life. If I live in a place of pain and negativity, that’s all I will feel internally and all I will manifest in to my life. 

I know that I need to step back and look at things and ask myself, “why am I feeling this way? What’s bought this on? What’s going on in my life to make me act in such a way? “

Reflecting on my experiences enables me to understand myself better and to look for the things that I do want, the things that make me happy and avoid the things that I don’t want. 

Over the next few days I’m sure many of us will feel angry and frustrated with the current pandemic and not being able to share fun times with people, but this is not an excuse to allow it to eat away at you. You can still make the time to smile and appreciate all that you do have. You could use this quiet Christmas to learn something new, watch movies, make something or draw. Maybe a new you is waiting to be discovered.

The main reason for me sharing this today is because I wanted to stop you in your tracks of taking your anger and frustrations out on the ones you love, or even just people you pass in the street. There is a lot of emotions flying around at the moment, so let’s try and be there for one another! 

I am also launching on 1st Jan 2021, 30 days beginners meditation program on YouTube. Every day I will give you a short video to follow covering different tools to help you step out of your day and release the different things we carry. So join me and let’s see what those 30 days bring you. 

Below you will find my latest mindset video for teens, I’d love your help in spreading the word and getting more young people dealing with and accepting difficult times.

A huge thank you for all the love and support through a challenging 2020! Have a wonderful Christmas and look forward to being part of your 2021

Much love 

Portia x

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